So I went out to get some lunch today and decided to go to the mall afterward to check on an item I had my eye on at Lululemon. The restaurant has a special “Taco Monday” and both the mall and restaurant are in a very wealthy and posh part of town. I went out alone to eat and unfortunately each conversation on either side of me that I happened overhear are people posturing and trying so hard to impress everyone around them. It was similar to how the jet set is portrayed on TV with such arrogance. It’s completely saddening to me and deflating. I literally got more and more sad as I heard these in their 20s and 30s posing. They appeared to be exaggerating alot. My vibration is immediately lowered because of how hard everyone is trying and how much they are not in love with themselves and needing the approval of strangers around them. Just walking through the mall and in the store I overheard the way people were talking on the phone. So much effort being put out to be special. It reminds me of being in other wealthy areas of town where 70-year-olds are driving Ferraris and gunning the engine. Again, needing anyone to think that they are impressive. It’s hard for me to keep my vibration high and empathize with their neediness. It reminds me of how much people buy into their identity. It could be a 20-year-old acting like they’re a baller or again a 70-year-old driving their Ferrari revving their engine at a stop light and glancing at me to see if I am noticing. Mostly it’s ignorance that I see. I’m not sure how to raise my own vibration of love right now. I feel that everyone is trying so hard from the guy with his passenger in the Camaro gunning the engine in parking structure after I parked and almost hitting a woman and her dog to the advertisements at the Louis Vuitton store. $25,000 pieces of luggage which are fine to buy if the intention is that they like it and they aren’t doing it for others approval. It is sometimes hard for all of us to not care what others think.
I was actually repulsed at the opulence of the marketing and reasoning of the attitudes I encountered. Contentment seems to be a big deal in this situation. How much is enough? I have some amazing Japanese luggage that is so light and durable and in neat colors. Do we sit at the table and eat and eat and eat and vomit and eat and vomit and eat? There is a time when we have eaten enough. Sometimes I will fast. Does that have a place in the consumption of goods? I left the store and the mall with sadness and emotionally vomiting. I was over full with the attitude of low self esteem and posturing to be extraordinary. I would like to have an attitude of being extra ordinary. It is ok to be not special … to not stand out … to be content with what you have and how much you have. I am thankful for hearing conversations and seeing people working so hard for me or others to be impressed. It is a reminder to have unconditional love for myself AND others. It is for me to practice loving everyone I saw just the way they are and to have empathy for their lack of self esteem or to be sheep and think that having more and more makes them win and better. I want to practice self love and happiness with what I have and not believe the lies that there is something more beyond my love and God’s love.
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