Dragonflies

I had a nice although short conversation with a close friend today. Shortly afterward, a dragonfly flew right up to my face. This is after a dragonfly followed me on my bike the day before. I love dragonflies! They are so beautiful. The way they can fly and the way they look. Even my sister the prolific wildlife photographer (follow her on Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/jackielynnmarlowe/) took an amazing picture of one yesterday and sent it to me. You know how there isn’t random coincidence … 3 in 2 days. Messages abound when we believe and are still enough to listen. I even have a tattoo of one on my hand.

I love to explain why I have a tattoo of a dragonfly. I saw a documentary on dragonflies a while back and my mind is fuzzy as usual, but I believe it was said that they live as a nymph underwater for 2 years and emerge and live as a dragonfly terrestrially for 6 months. They are living in water for 4/5 of their lives. This immediately meant to me that it is never too late to blossom and emerge as the beautiful creature we are meant to be. That is like we were to live to 100 years old and at 80 we undergo a major metamorphosis. This visit by my dragonfly friend was there to remind me of beauty and this lovely concept.

Like my many encounters with dragonflies, I have recently had so many encounters with narcissists … not just people displaying narcissistic traits. We have those daily. I even had a meeting with my dear client, who was my first client ever, yesterday. She has a clinical narcissist mother. She had a big awakening recently about this. She never knew exactly what was so different and difficult with her maternal relationship. In fact, she was the one that taught me a lot about these personality types and gave me links and phone numbers to people who helped her understand these people. I was even a social worker acquainted with the DSM IV and just now learned a bunch of new information from her. I just keep encountering these narcissist personality disorder (NPD) people or those deeply associated with one. My own mother was a covert narcissist … one of the 4 clinical types that generally do not have the capability to change. This is hard for me because I believe that with the power of our Creator, anyone can change. Maybe though, these people came here to teach us a lesson and will live with this personality disorder during their current lifetime. I still believe in miracles though and the power of God that can change anyone like the concept of alchemy.

The conversation I mentioned initially was with my dear friend who is in her 60s. Of course, you would never know she was in her early 60s because she is youthful and beautiful. She has been in a marriage with a true clinical narcissist for around 40 years. She is finally discovering that she doesn’t have to live like she does. She suffers from anxiety and is always on edge and is starting to feel like this stress is making her physically sick which it will. This is so sad because she offers so much and is maybe the kindest and sweetest person I have ever met. She does so much for everyone and has never known that she can give herself the love she gives everyone else. Well, times are a changing. She has woken up. She has had enough. I happened to forward her the name of a therapist and some videos that rocked her world. She has been beaten up and manipulated by her husband in so many ways for so long. She said to me on the phone and she has said this before that she wonders if it is worth it to even try and solve this problem at her age. She knows now she has to, but it is daunting. So much fallout and the future reaction of this angry and aggressive husband is scary. Money can be something she is worried about if worst came to worst and all of it creates more anxiety.

It is never too late to blossom. The dragonflies are here to tell us this. They know that the journey while in larvae state is so necessary for them to become a dragonfly. It is not wasted time. It is their purpose to emerge from under water. They are learning important things while underwater. They don’t sit around and whine about when they can fly around and be beautiful or worry whether they can do it. They don’t think about what the other dragonflies will think if they become beautiful flying creatures. They don’t think how hard and painful it may be. They enjoy their time underwater swimming and playing and eating. They remember that it is the journey and not the destination that is exciting and important to enjoy. Then, they emerge to do something totally different. They are no longer underwater creatures, but now amazing and special flying insects. Who doesn’t thing a dragonfly isn’t beautiful? What about this drastic change? Can you think of a bigger change than a swimming nymph emerging from under water to become an incredible and beautiful insect that can fly like no other animal on Earth. Why do we limit ourselves? Why don’t we think we are worthy to emerge in a completely new state? Why don’t we know that we are worthy of happiness and liberty and freedom? Why can’t we see our possibilities and trust God to have our backs? Our Creator did not put us here to be miserable and to do little things. In fact, Joy is the number 1 purpose we all have and this highest vibration we can have! We can do hard things with God having our backs and supporting us in everything. We have to remember we are not separate from our Creator! We are always supported and it is only us that limits us. Who is with me in becoming and choosing anything we want to be? I have to be reminded of this as well. Life can be so overwhelming and we get knocked down a lot by our circumstances. We have to get back up, dust ourselves off and scream out that we are OK and strong and we have this as children of God. I always have to remember to be playful and have joy. I tend to be so serious after my awakening about achieving my purposes here on this wonder-full playground called Earth. Dragonflies seem to play all the time. They seem joyful! Our wonder-full Earth has all the folly and Love we need. We have to love ourselves enough to seek all of this and KNOW we are worthy of Joy and Happiness and Oneness with God and each other. We have to KNOW all things are possible with God having our backs.

This is a daily wake up call for me. I have a long way to go and I am going to play and laugh and do great things with God’s help!