It is funny how one day I can be on top of the world and so happy. It is as if nothing can get me down and then the next day I am hit with some feelings that are of a low vibration. I am not assessing blame to myself for my emotions being so different. I am actually in a situation where I have suffered some loss from nothing that I have done and my emotional state is affected. I do not want to stay in this state of sadness though because that leads to more sadness and takes me down the emotional scale toward lower vibrations.
One of the things I am working on in my life is to know that I am enough and I can find joy and satisfaction in myself. I am often seeking that outside and beyond myself. This is a lifelong journey for me as I did not have the acceptance or love from family in my childhood and continuing into adulthood. I continually sought love from people to replace the need for love from a mother, father, brother and lover. Again, I thought I did so much work on this issue, but that monster is very much alive. How do I find all those answers in myself? This is a major purpose in my life. I know I was put here in the situation where I am to learn to stand strongly, independently and with purpose. I know I am here to find joy in my doings and in my love for myself. I tend to take this seriously as I am always considering my reasons for being here on Earth.
Basically, my current issue is that I have lost some close friends and I do not know the actual reasons. I love the book “The Four Agreements” and the follow up “The Fifth Agreement”. In the first book, two of the agreements are “Do not take anything personally” and the other is “Do not make any assumptions”. These two agreements are Truth. They are behaviors rooted in fear. I am struggling with both even though I read these books over 10 years ago and have applied them to my life very successfully. Isn’t it interesting how sometimes the monsters that you think you have killed, raise their head again and show that there is still some life in that ugly thing.
My question to myself is how am I reacting out of fear? Well, obviously these two behaviors are fear oriented. Remember, the role of fear is to create more fear. I know that understanding their connection to fear can help me break free from the grip of fear and eventually kill that hideous monster. Essentially, it is about raising my vibration from one based out of fear to a higher vibration of Love and Joy.
When I take things personally, it often stems from a fear that I am not good enough, worthy enough, or lovable enough. I tend to interpret others’ actions or words as a reflection of my value, which is a projection of my own insecurities. Fear is an illusion and a true projection as there is only Love and all else is a lie we usually believe. Taking things personally is also tied to the fear of being rejected, judged, or abandoned. I will assume that others’ opinions or actions are about me, when in reality, they are about them and their own beliefs, experiences, and perceptions. It is possible that they are reacting out of fear and that fear is contagious as I am seem to be catching that disease or having dis-ease.
It is crucial for me to remember that nothing others do is because of me. Their actions and words are a projection of their own reality and their own fears. When I take things personally, I am having an out of balance belief that I am the center of their universe. By taking things personally, I am handing over my power to others, allowing their opinions to define my self-worth. All of this creates unnecessary pain and sadness and keeps me trapped in a fear cycle.
So for me the big question when I find myself in situations like this is how do I overcome this? I must remind myself that others’ actions are not about me. I must strengthen my self-love and self-acceptance. When I know my true worth, I don’t need validation from others. I am a beautiful child of God that is very unique. No other soul has ever been created that did not have a special quality that no one else has … unique like your fingerprint.
Assumptions are always rooted in fear as well. There is a fear of the unknown. Making assumptions is a way to try to control or predict outcomes because the unknown feels scary. Instead of asking for clarity or communicating openly, I catch myself filling in the gaps with assumptions, often based on my own fears or insecurities. There is a fear of conflict or rejection. I greatly fear rejection based on my history which always need reminding that it is just historic data. Many people make assumptions because they’re afraid to ask questions or speak their truth. They fear that asking for clarity might lead to conflict, rejection, or disappointment. I sometimes forget that assumptions are an illusion like anything rooted in fear. Assumptions are almost always inaccurate because they are based on limited information and filtered through your my own beliefs, biases, and fears. They always create stories in my mind that have no basis in reality. I tend to create unnecessary drama and misunderstandings for myself when I rely on assumptions. You might assume someone is upset with you, when in reality, they’re just busy or dealing with a personal crisis. Instead of assuming, I can seek clarity by communicating directly with those that are in question. I need to remind myself that everyone has their own struggles and perspectives. What I will assume about them is likely not the full picture. I have started observing my emotions and when practicing I can catch myself making assumptions. I have to ask myself, “Is this true? Do I have evidence for this, or am I creating a story out of fear?”
Both taking things personally and making assumptions are rooted in fear because they stem from a lack of self-trust and self-love. When I don’t trust myself and know my worth, I rely on external validation and try to control outcomes to feel safe. This creates a cycle of fear, suffering, and disconnection. To break free from fear, I must love and accept myself, live in this present moment since no other moment actually exists. To communicate courageously and replace assumptions with clear communication is the route to take. I can ask questions and express my needs without fear of judgment.
What my solution comes down to is I must raise my vibration when I am recognizing that I am down. Raising my vibration and moving away from emotions like anger, jealousy, or sadness is how I can align with my higher True Self or inner being to experience more Joy, Peace, and clarity. To do this I need to remember and focus on what I desire. Negative emotions like sadness, anger or jealousy signal that I am focused on what I don’t want. I can shift my attention to what you do want. For example, instead of feeling sad, I can refocus on what I appreciate about myself or what I want to create.
Another way I must apply myself is to allow everything and lean into the emotion I am feeling. I can stop resisting what is. I know resistance keeps me stuck in lower vibrations. Acceptance doesn’t mean I am condoning my low vibrational feeling; it means I stop fighting it energetically. I love the Abraham-Hicks emotional scale that ranges from lower vibrations (fear, anger, jealousy) to higher vibrations (love, joy, appreciation). This gives me a gauge to benchmark and seek higher ways of living. This cannot happen instantaneously. When I am feeling angry or sad, I cannot try to jump straight to Joy. Instead, I can aim for a slightly better feeling, like relief or hope and gradually work my way up the scale one by one. As I have mentioned, practicing is just as important as the epiphany. Practice doesn’t just make you better, but that task gets easier and easier.
I want to spend time each day visualizing my ideal life and focusing on things that bring me Joy. This raises my vibration and helps me align with my desires. I am always connected to Source energy (your higher True Self or inner being). I have a Divine Nature as a child of God just like you. I am not my emotions or thoughts. I are a divine being having a human experience. As I feel anger or sadness, I have to remind myself that this is not who I truly am. My higher self is always available for me and desires my unification. I can even verbally invite clarity and peace. I often pray when in these situations to my helpers for understanding. Super importantly, I am not here to fix myself. I am here to realize who I am! Instead of trying to “fix” my anger or jealousy, I can simply observe it without judgment and let it pass. I am the observer. So I can use affirmations to remember my freedom and worthiness and how I am loved by my Creator which helps me step out of lower vibrational states. Staying present and going down the rabbit hole of assumptions is so helpful for me. When I monitor and allow my thoughts, I can listen to my negative and limiting self-talk and thoughts and replace them with the Truth that are empowering.
Raising your vibration is a process. It’s okay for me feel negative emotions. We get better by feeling how we feel. I do not have to dwell on them. I can acknowledge them and then gently shift my focus upward on that emotional scale. Our emotions are guidance tools. We are to use them to understand our vibration and make adjustments. By consistently applying these principles, we can find ourselves experiencing more joy, peace, and alignment with your True Self.
Taking things personally and making assumptions are both rooted in fear. It is the fear of not being enough, fear of rejection, and fear of the unknown. By practicing the Four Agreements, raising my vibration and cultivating self-awareness, self-love, and clear communication, I can break free from these patterns and live a more peaceful, empowered life. This is today’s lesson for me.
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