Many people will chase what they perceive they lack, beg for what they think they need and become needy for what they fear they will lose. I am one of those people. What if this is actually an illusion? What if all your chasing pushes what you want further and further away? Can you see through the veil of fear that our culture creates? The more you try to hold sand, the tighter you hold it, the more sand slips through your fingers. Grasping creates pain and frustration and furthers your desire to have. Unbalanced forced effort repels your desires. The more you force with your unending pursuit, the faster the target moves away from you. It is not through tiresome pursuit that will give you what you want to attain. It is in presence, the confident and peaceful being. This is when being is greater than doing. When you stop begging for attention or chasing people or being desperate, what you seek comes to you effortlessly. If you do not chase, beg and plead, then that is the time when you master yourself. Life becomes harmonious. Instead of chasing, you attract. Instead of begging you are respected. Instead of neediness, you embody completeness. This is one of the beautiful paradoxes of Life. We have all seen it, yet we cannot seem to understand why. By letting go, you gain!
Here is a story that speaks of this. There was once an orphan who spent his life seeking relationships with others. It could be his mother or a brother or a lover that he sought. Every time he set his heart on someone he desired, they eluded him. He would earnestly try his hardest to have them in his life. Yet the more he worked, the more they would slip away. When he found someone he loved, he would show overwhelming love to them only to be met with their distance. It was so painful for him and that pain compounded into more desire and sadness. Whenever he wanted someone in his life, they soon disappeared. He became so exhausted. He sought the wisdom of God as he knew this was the only true way to an answer. He sat by a stream and saw the water flowing endlessly. For some reason, the man decided to try to grab the water with one hand. When he squeezed the water, the more the water fell back into the stream. He saw that the more he tried to hold it, the more he could not. He soon realized that if you simply let the water flow, he could enjoy its presence. It suddenly occurred to him that chasing is different from attracting. The tree doesn’t chase the birds. It is still and they come to seek the many attributes that the tree has to offer. He then felt the wind against his skin. He realized the wind cannot be caught, but it will come to you if you stand still. When you do not chase, the more the things you want will naturally come to you. This is power of non-attachment. You have all that you need already. He realized that if he focused on the eternal abundance of what we have already been given, his understanding of life was perfectly satisfying. He understood that he could find all the fulfillment he once sought in his relationship with himself. He began to focus on his gifts within and continued to feed his mind with knowledge and Wisdom. He found Joy in his being and his doings. He cultivated his health with good food and exercise. He was walking in kindness to himself and others. He saw that his Soul was being fed with Peace and Contentment. He became so centered that he no longer needed any external validation or the love from others. Suddenly, the miracle of alchemy happened. The people he once desired to be his mother or brother or lover appeared and began giving him attention and care. They were drawn to his completeness. When you do not need, you become attractive. People sense desperation and run from it, but when you radiate completeness, they are drawn to you.
This is art of self-mastery. He was acting from fear via his insecurity and attachment, but now by Knowing himself, he became a magnet. He no longer begged for love, it came effortlessly. He received validation and his confidence was seen. He understood the only thing we can control is ourselves. He couldn’t hold water or capture the wind. He realized the moment you stop seeking, stop forcing and stop chasing, you become the kind of person who does not need to ask for anything because everything comes to him naturally in the proper time. This is the true power of letting go. He finally understood that he was acting out of fear and lack. Before this, he could not see that he was already complete and had everything he wanted inside him. He was so attractive when he practiced self-love that the abundance of life flowed to him like the stream. He found himself with new friends who were motherly and nurturing. He had brotherhood and the woman of his dreams was there seeking his love.
People are drawn to wholeness rather than incompleteness. When we shop for things, we do not seek what is broken, but rather what works perfectly. When you are fulfilled, you are not lacking and seeking completeness. Instead of seeking Love, become and be Love. Instead of begging for attention, have self-love and self-respect. Instead of clinging to those you desire, let them flow like the stream. When you need nothing, everything comes.
Freedom creates attraction. When you hold the water loosely, it stays in your hand. When you grasp tightly, it escapes between your fingers … you lose it. Are you grasping too hard? Are you forcing instead of allowing the flow that naturally occurs when you are not acting in fear. When you no longer are needy, you gain what you could not even imagine. Mastering yourself is the thing that changes the course of everything. Recognize what you are wanting and know that your gifts were already given and you have what you seek. It is at that moment you will obtain all you desire. Instead of focusing outward, turn inward. Instead of controlling others, control yourself. Instead of lack, know you have more than you can even desire already. When you are complete, everything comes to you. This is the meaning of “The Kingdom of Heaven is within.” The inner peace you seek is not from external outcomes or other peoples validation and attention. We have our destination of desires within that creates the satisfying contentment we seek.
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