There is a strange thing about our minds. They are usually never silent. Even during silent meditation it whispers thoughts and can bring memories to life. In fact, these can be memories that you have already thought about many times. They can come up at any time of the day and during any activity you may do. It is odd that a thought can take you for a ride. Thoughts have extreme power and they are not our identity. We will even have feelings come about from these memories or ideas. We will run with these thoughts and start moving into the future with them in regard to what we will do. If we allow these thoughts, they can become action and we can act out in a negative way. They can create shame or guilt or resentment. These thoughts are owning you and belittle your power when you obsess on them without doing the work to resolve them.
These thoughts are never about or in the present moment. They linger in the past or future which is just history or a story we are making up. The present moment is all that exists. This is the moment where true power lies. It has the strength to create miracles. It is the only time you can grow and learn. It is the only time you can change your life by understanding your thoughts. You must be present to resolve the thought.
One method to resolve these recurring thoughts is that we can be the observer of our thoughts when we are present without reliving that situation. We can look at them and think about why this is occurring again without reliving that time. The people or events that stay in our minds are there to reveal the gaps we have in our lives. These thoughts are the teachers we did not expect, but desperately need. Once you reflect on these thoughts by observing and not integrating, we can see a little more clearly what the lesson is. Our mind will then release them and remind us in the future of the epiphany we received. The thought may come back, but you now know the reason they came to you. They were a gift. We can see within ourselves where we need to focus some attention in order for us to be whole.
We can view our thoughts as just passing clouds in the sky. Clouds come and go. You are not the cloud. You are the sky. When someone or something lingers in your mind, do not resist. Instead, be the observer of the thought without judgment and then ask yourself what is keeping it there. Freely accept it’s presence and look inside. Discover the answer and let the transient thought move away like the cloud will. This does not mean you will never think of that memory again. It means that when you do, there will be a quiet recognition that it was a part of your journey and you will remember the lesson you learned so you can put it into practice.
These thoughts will sometimes stir emotions. Our emotions are tools for us to benchmark where we are and where we want to be. We must understand why they occur for them to disappear. There is usually an unresolved emotional lesson at hand. The human mind does not cling to anything without a reason. The mind is like a stream. A river does not stop flowing unless an obstacle gets in the way. These thoughts can dam up our mental flow. We must let our mind flow. We can get stuck on our thoughts and not allow ourselves to move forward on our physical and spiritual adventure. All situations and people come into our lives for the purpose of growth. For example, if you keep thinking about someone who hurt you, the lesson may be forgiveness, not for their sake, but for your freedom. If you obsess over someone who never truly saw you, the lesson may be about self-worth. You can grow because of that lesson by realizing that your value is not determined by anyone’s recognition. Maybe there is a friend or an acquaintance that irritates you to no end. They are often a mirror of the same behavior we see in ourselves and are reflecting back to us our own incompleteness. There are people that come to you to show you that you need to refocus and prioritize yourself and get healthier. At times, I think that I have really done a lot of work around a quality that I do not like about myself and the smallest situation can feed that undead zombie and it begins to haunt me again.
We cannot let go of an incessant thought by forcing ourselves to forget. This only feeds the fire. You cannot erase a memory from your mind by fighting the presence of that thought. The harder you push the thought away, the more you will think about it. It is through acceptance of the thought that we can solve a problem. Forgetting is not the path, understanding is. These difficult people or situations are here for us to grow. You can bring peace to your mind by understanding a memory. These repeated thoughts can prod us to move forward and feel better. There is growth that must take place in order for us to feel better and release the recurrent memory. The past cannot be changed, but these memories can still teach us. When you realize the reason the thought is occurring, then you can let go of the recurring thought. The mind no longer has a reason to hold on to the unresolved memory. It learns the lesson and understands the purpose of their presence.
People and situations come into our lives as either mirrors for lessons or just lessons. A mirror reflects something we refuse to see within ourselves. The lesson reveals something we need to learn. If someone or something is repeatedly on your mind, ask what part of myself do they mirror and what lesson do they bring that I have not yet understood.
These memories are like a stone thrown into the water. The ripples spread and disturbs the water’s surface. With time however, the river continues to flow and the stone either settles or is carried away. If a memory remains in your thoughts, it means the stone has not yet settled and the water is still disturbed. The river does not need to fight the stone. It simply keeps flowing and one day without force, without struggle, the river is clear again. This is how you let go, not by forgetting, not by fighting, but by flowing forward. Be brave and examine without fear or judgment. Question what is personal and may require much work. Be diligent and practice the lesson. We will be masters of ourselves. We can then model for others and shine a brighter light to help others see in the dark or discover the dirt in the corners of their room. By examining if something is a mirror or a lesson, we will have a recognition and resolution of those troubling and recurring thoughts and will allow those memories to flow out of our mind and create change within to make us whole and to lift everyone around us.
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