Change is inevitable and with change can come growth. This is at least a desire I hope. I know there are some that cannot even make this leap. Change can be considered a problem which honestly makes most every moment a problem for many people. We cannot control so many things that occur. People’s suffering comes from their attempt to control anything beyond themselves. It is so very important to remember this. Change actually occurs for us and not to us. Maybe there are people that do not understand that you can grow from life’s changes which we encounter. The things in life that we do not ask for that come to us are actually divine even though they may not seem to be. Sometimes we can see this with time. Growth of the species and growth for our society and growth for us personally is exactly what change and evolution is all about.
I met with my medium recently and the very, very first thing said to me was that the name Heartbroken Warrior must change. This was immediately very difficult news for me to handle. It was not that I am resistant, but because I became confused by this demand. I was told that I am the Heartbroken Warrior from a previous medium reading. I was a little frustrated that I will have to do a lot of work to make this happen. I have created a website, bought many domain names, created a blog and created social media accounts all associated with the Heartbroken Warrior moniker. I was a touch frustrated. It is a lot of work to redirect to a new name. I will have to create new accounts. I will need to build a new logo and rebrand. Ugh! There are a few reasons I was told that I am to change names. First, I have grown. I am no longer a heartbroken warrior. I am a compassionate warrior. I have a tender heart that can be vulnerable and understands and listens. I tend to feel a lot. Also, I am creating a self-fulfilling prophesy by referring to my heart being broken. It is not broken. It is strong and has healed. A broken heart is not my identity. I am to acknowledge the growth and healing that has happened and live with a compassionate heart. It is a good change.
Change is not usually easy. It involves a pivot. It sometimes turns you inside out. I went into this reading while in such a good place in my life. I was very much on my Path like never before. This reading turned me upside down. I felt like I wasn’t on my Path any longer. It is when we have growth and are strong that we will encounter change that challenges us like never before. I had to realize that I am ready for bigger and bigger challenges. I am ready for bigger growth. I will take a bigger step up. I will gain an understanding like never before because I couldn’t handle such a change in the past. This isn’t just the change of name. This involved some other big changes that are required in my life.
One of the changes I have had is that I had to lay down some hard boundaries recently. This is not easy for me. I have always misunderstood boundaries. They always seemed in conflict with freedom to me. I became aware however that boundaries are essentially self-love. They are protection. They allow freedom. They give confidence and strength. I did not know this. I was first told about boundaries about 2 years ago in a medium reading where my first orange tabby cat came through to talk to me. He said … “I have always loved you. I loved your vulnerability and openness. Everyone is attracted to you because of these qualities. But, you must work on your boundaries.” This message was deep. I trusted the message and began calling out some obvious things that I found issues with in my life. There were so many deeper boundaries I had to put into place. I am very sensitive and do not want to offend others or irritate. I honestly don’t think I am a people pleaser. I am used to others finding difference with me or being misunderstood. I do not need approval really for the most part. I have dealt with that in my past. It was part of my values with being a rebel in my punk rock lifestyle. My sister is absolutely great at boundaries though. She will enact strong hard boundaries and not care if someone feels that they are harsh … including me. I often have thought she is brash. I know there is a balance and she does her boundaries perfectly. I can find my way to enact my strong boundaries in my style too.
I was forced to put down some very strong boundaries. A few weeks ago, I had a stalker and had to go hard on this situation. This was an obvious because I could not allow for my mental safety to be compromised. It felt very empowering to be strong in my Truth. I also had a man who was very aggressive with me one day last week and had to put down some very hard boundaries with him as well. I was offended and had to stand my ground. I had to place a boundary with a friend who was subtly pushing me. I needed to explain my thoughts and expectations and if that didn’t work, then we may no longer be friends. I have two very close friends that I realized I had grown beyond and had to decide to let go of my expectations for that friendship. I did not have to speak to them about it, but I needed to have better personal boundaries to avoid further frustration. These are all recent examples of strict and solid boundaries I was asked to install. These boundaries are related to the knife I was given by my Guide to cut some ties. Cutting ties is a form of boundaries for protecting myself. I am keeping my heart safe and from being broken with this skill. I have a tool now to do so in the form of a knife.
I am understanding that we have tools and skills that will help keep us from getting hurt. I never walked around crying about my pain and heartbreak. I am past that. I am not saying I didn’t wear my heart on my sleeve in the past sometimes. I just repeatedly seemed to get hurt. It was from being berated as a youth and having very low self-esteem. I thought living with the pain of heartbreak was normal because my worth was low. I allowed all of this though. We will all face adversity and difficult people, but it is our reaction that is important. We are in our choice every moment. We can wallow in pain from change. We can complain or trauma bond or stomp our feet for days or weeks. We can think we deserve to be hurt and in pain and worth less than others. These are all choices we can make. We can also make a choice this second to choose Love. I choose to believe I am a child of God who is worthy of Love. I choose healing and growth this moment. I want to gain compassion and understanding for others when I am healing. Boundaries and cutting ties are the best tools I am learning to use to help me love myself and heal and grow. This will help me to help others. I must be healed and strong to do so. I want to model a compassionate and tender heart. I am a Compassionate and Tenderhearted Warrior!
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