This is a phrase I heard a long time ago. It is comical, but very true. The idea that when we cannot see fault in ourselves, we are our most dangerous self. Those that seem to never see themselves at fault, yet see how everyone else should change are demonstrating extreme narcissism. We see them around us. Many have very high positions in life. They may be CEOs or a President or a leader of some kind. They want everyone to change as they are the ones causing chaos and disruption in our lives.
This has gone on for too long. It is the concepts of the Old Testament or any jihad. Find fault in someone that has resources we want, claim that we are the chosen ones who deserve that resource, claim God told us to take it and we deserve it and then conquer those people with customs and rituals different than ours in the name of righteousness. We saw the US do it in Afghanistan and Iraq. We were to bring the holiness of democracy to them or to Libya or whomever. Global domination or controlling resources like oil were covert opportunities. Even vengeance was a motivator shrouded in justice. We created ISIS from our decision to war and hurt a group of people. It is like how we are returning MS-13 gang members to El Salvador, yet there was never this gang present in their country. It developed by Salvadorians in our prisons. Violence breeds violence.
We must be able to deal with our shadow, whether that be our national shadow or our personal shadow. I do not want to write about politics. This is done enough. I want to talk about our personal shadow even though there is a collective shadow of a culture. The shadow contains the traits we have that we ignore or hide or shun and run from. This is the inner work we have to allow and accept for our becoming more like Christ. Remember, God is only Love and there is nothing else that actually exists. Fear is the other side of the coin and it is a lie we believe. We want to get to only Love. We are truly only Love at our core. It is our True Self. We don’t have to fix ourselves, but rather chip off the residue and calcified layer of what our world and collective conscience has told us which we have adopted as truth. When we peel an onion and remove the layers, we eventually get to the core of that onion. The strongest part of that onion is the center and many, many tears come as we continue to stand in the presence of that onion being peeled. Our eyes burn and hurt and will do so for a long time afterwards. Eventually though, our eyes clear and we can see again. This is the shadow work we must do. It is not easy. It is painful, but the payoff is beyond our understanding as we do it. We can achieve peace and happiness and compassion by examining those areas we avoid to look at.
We were not born broken and with a shadow. We learned the behaviors that we exhibit. We are perfect creations. We can undergo self-improvement like breaking habits or using goal setting techniques to achieve, but this is working with our small self’s tendencies. This is fine and has it’s place, but sometimes it is just pruning our branches. Like our body’s physical self-healing ability, we can get to our core again and live in our True Self of Love by doing shadow work. The shadow work is self-love. It is examining the roots of our being. Bad roots develop bad fruit. When we can see the reasons we are hurting ourselves and others, then we can stifle the behavior truly. We must examine these painful areas with Love and Understanding. We must have Compassion and Forgiveness by seeing our ugly side without judgment. God doesn’t hate us. God Loves us and wants us to Love ourselves and by doing so we can Love others. We have the Spirit of God within us as our True Self and if we hate on ourselves, then we are hating on God. None of us want to bring hate to our Creator.
Examining without judgment requires us to see our behavior without condemning. Sometimes we can easily see our behavior by seeing things in others we dislike. We are a mirror since we are all One. When we see traits that get us riled up, we can ask ourselves … is this something that I do or have done? Is this something I am working on? When we can be honest and see clearly the behaviors or traits we exhibit that we do not like, then we can start to dig deeper.
Childhood is the apex of our personality creation. We learn so much at this time. We develop responses to stimuli and patterns and habits ensue. If we are being neglected by a parents love, then we try to get love by attention seeking. We may become overachievers or act out in negative ways that cause a parent to focus on us. The response is solidified in behavior later in life if it garners the results we are seeking. This is just one example.
Once we can identify that there we have negative traits and start digging to where the behavior began, we can start the process of forgiving ourselves. Everyone and everything has a shadow. We must understand that we are not alone or below anyone else. We have problems like all humans do. This is a reason we are here on this polarized Earth. We are to learn from opposites. Our shadow can be the biggest teacher. This is how we can embrace and Love our shadow. Even the biggest narcissist or person who exhibits the worst behavior can teach us. There is Wisdom in our ugly side. We can love it because it refines us just like our difficult experiences teach us our biggest lessons. By embracing our nastiest actions, we can understand why they are there. Our shadow speaks the Truth. We just have to learn the language it speaks.
Essentially, we are seeking some type of Love. We are just acting out in ways that are negative. I speak of this shadow because I am always encountering it. I cannot look at anything in the sun without seeing a shadow. I tend to see my shadow even before I can see myself. Ignoring it is not helpful. I had an experience of being on vacation once with a good friend and it turned very dark. He was so angry that I would not party with him and his intentions were very different than mine in going to the Mexican riviera. He acted out towards me in overtly critical ways. It was even childish. All I could think of is that I was in a room of mirrors because his behavior is what I used to do. There was no choice but compassion. I met him before my awakening to spiritual Wisdom and he was still living in that darkness I used to be in. I just tried to respond in Love to all of his hate he poured out.
I see my shadow often these days in my responses from stimuli. I desire Love. This is something I already have innate within, but I fail to see this usually. One of the things that I am guilty of is passive aggressive behavior. I will be sarcastic and shroud my anger with stinging humor. These digs are little paper cuts that eventually can cause great pain. I essentially push away Love and fall into a comfortable area of victimhood. It is ugly. I will see it even when I do it, yet I may do it anyway. I have to observe the space between the stimuli and the response. This is where I can practice change. I can first remember that I have all the Love I seek inside me. I can think about how the Love I desire isn’t in other people’s acceptance or praise. I can think about how my station in life as a child created this need and how it is a gift for me to practice applying self-love principles. With practice comes skill and ease of response. We get better and it becomes easier. Eventually, we can do things by practicing and develop dazzling grace and ability. Even professionals have coaches and practice often.
Having a vice is a way of escaping our shadow, but it also acknowledges that we have a shadow. With focused thought, we can tackle our ugliness and be thankful for having our shadow to learn from. We can see other people’s shadow and be able to see our own and learn the Love for ourselves and others via Forgiveness and Compassion. Without even seeing our shadow or acknowledging that we have one, we are dangerous to ourselves and others. This is a mental illness and will lead us essentially into trouble where maybe we can then do some work to get us back on our righteous Path. If we follow our shadow, it will lead us off track and into the wilderness where we can get lost. If we see it with impartiality, we can let it lead us to the Promised Land. We are all chosen ones and have the Spirit of Perfect Truth inside us. We have all the Love we are seeking within and can see that Love clearly when we chip off the ugly rock that is hiding the masterpiece within. Use your shadow to guide you to that inner Perfection. It is waiting for you to discover. You are a master sculptor.
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